I have come to terms with the fact that Mandela’s Rainbow nation, Madiba Magic and Arch Tutu’s tears aren’t going to cut it.

This is my apology to you, victim of a situation.

An open letter to White South Africans.

I am a black man in South Africa and I have come to a conclusion that it is our fault that we were tortured, oppressed, stripped of our dignity and pride. How foolish of us. I am deeply sorry that we had to go through that pain and you having to lose your conscience in the process and feed off my pain.

They say when Van Ribieck landed our problems started. It is not so, had your forefathers not come across us living here already, they wouldn’t have had to kill us to take the land, because we did not speak their language so we couldn’t negotiate.  I am deeply sorry that you have blood on your hands that you did not intend to take.

When Tutu’s tears ran down his cheeks and dripped on tables at the TRC. He was forgiving you for the pain that you caused. He literally asked for your hand in shaping this country together through his tears. It all failed and I am sorry that we attempted to reconcile, I can imagine how saddening that and humiliating that was for you, asking for forgiveness from “a thing”.

I am sorry for Apartheid. This was the biggest and greatest mistake from our side, my sin for being black. I understand that it was not your intention to harm anyone but it had to be done. This system was basically designed for your convenience. We were an inconvenience.  

There had to be one person controlling and one a slave. The blood on your hands is on us. Had we obeyed the baas and respected his wishes, he was never going to kill us. But it had to be done.

Those people are dead now but some are alive. My apology is directed to you because you have inherited the sins of your Fathers. I know you probably weren’t there during apartheid, I was not either but I am deeply sorry that you inherited white privilege that allows to still oppress me financially today.

It is not your fault that I have to ask for my land from you when you were not even born when our forefathers were killed for it but you inherited your Fathers sins and I am deeply sorry for that. You feed me off that land. I see that asking for the piece of the pie may be too much. How else would you control me if you had no financial power over me?

I am deeply sorry that you fear me that much because I am a threat to white supremacy.  Times have changed and now I’m that arrogant John now.

Listen, I know you fear me. I apologize. I know when you look at me I resemble a terrible crime of your ugly past, a reminder that your life is a fraud. Blacks have waited for over 400 years for you to say “I am Sorry”. Instead you deny, shift blame, lie, twist facts and make black people into these creatures that you look down own, laugh at, yet, oddly, fear. I understand that this is a failed attempt for you to be at peace with yourself.

There is nothing wrong with us. You don’t need to fear us. There is no genocide. My dear white people, there’s nothing wrong with black people other than the bad patch of history we are going through, its side effects and the ordinary human failings. It is you, white people, that have a deep crack in your souls and for that I am sorry if we are the cause.

You call me names. You insult me by painting your face black. I say nothing but when I do you say something, you say  “I’m sensitive” or “I must get over it’’. I get it folks. I really do. If I had white privilege, it would annoy me too. I, too,  would also tell you what should offend you.

Steve Hofmeyer was on the right track. We are the architect of not correcting the effects of Apartheid on time and for that I am sorry, I am sorry that I want our land back now and our mines.

I apologize for the killed farmers but there’s no genocide there but hungry thieves hoping to score big.

Thieves target anyone with money, black or white they don’t see colour.

I apologize for the children shot and killed by white farmers because they mistaken them for animals, I am sorry you look at me that way. II am sorry you have to fell so much disgust towards me so much so that when I voice my anger you call me names and tell me to get over it and not be sensitive because it’s in the past.

This is me putting on my Mandela ability to “transcend race“ which implicitly meant to transcend to his blackness), to “make white people feel good about themselves,

On a Tuesday, December 16,1997 at 21:pm. Ray and Mary Enslin wrote “We regret that we did not vociferously express our opposition to Apartheid and lived well while others were in pain”  (TRC reconciliation register)

But what I will not apologize for, is wanting our land back. Just Bring Back OUR land for now!

P.S Now go on and blame it all on me again. I can only imagine your thinking right, but I really don’t care about your feelings, I have bigger problems, Bring Back Our Land! By Themba Radebe